- You can make a flower arrangement out of anything. It helps to use at least a few flowers, especially if you want other people to call your creation a “flower arrangement.” It also helps to use some things that are not flowers. I generally use other parts of plants for this purpose. Some people contend we we ought to use only the leafy parts in addition to the blooms, but they’re wrong. Feel free to use stems and branches and fruits and anything else you like as well. A flower arrangement that does not stir up a feeling of wild, child-like inhibition within us is hardly a flower arrangement at all.
- You can put a flower arrangement in nearly anything. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. Ask yourself, “would it be a good idea to stick myself in here?” If the answer is no, then you probably shouldn’t put flowers in there either.
- Generally speaking, less is more. Sometimes, however, more is more. Either way, flowers need plenty of space to breathe and be themselves. Don’t crowd too many blooms together, or pack a ton of plant matter into a small space. The flowers, like the people on the subway at rush hour, will look tired. The key to a flower arrangement that looks like it’s been given the personal touch™ is personal space.
- Consider the group dynamic of your flower arrangement when selecting individual specimens. If you were putting together a team of people for an important project, there would likely be some things that all of the people have in common, like being reliable. But you would probably also want individuals that are, at least in certain respects, different from each other, in accordance with the different roles required by the project. Pick your flowers in the same fashion. Pick some understudies too.
- Go for the unexpected. An object of beauty sufficient to startle us out of the soporific stupor of modern life is always well-met. The materials should leap out at us, as though they are predatory. We are the prey. Things that are jagged, crooked, gnarled, weathered, or twisted do well in this respect.
- Matchymatchy = tackytacky. See, you didn’t like what I just did. For similar reasons, a perfectly even and proportional arrangement mostly looks displeasingly artificial. Few things in the natural world are totally symmetrical; arrangements of perfectly straight rows of blooms have the effect of making us feel uneasy. Natural-looking arrangements make us feel relaxed and one with all of existence. Strive for wild or even feral, but don’t make yourself or others apprehensive. Odd numbers are more often prime.
- Don’t be shy. Be a bit of a show off. Nobody likes a modest display of opulence. Even a single flower is a vibrant, decadent being. Even Jesus knew not to put a candle under a basket, which is why he told his followers to consider the lilies of the field and enjoy the riches they’d already inherited.
- Get comfortable, but don’t get cocky. You don’t need to make the flowers beautiful because they already are. Let them do the work for you. If you rely only on your own abilities you’re sure to make a mess of things. In fact, it’s best if you let the flowers tell you what to do. Listen closely.
- Not everything works. Some buds never open. Some flowers immediately wilt and wither away. Even good people have bad days and make something that looks like grass clippings and a cowpie. Get over it — you’re not the one who just got chopped up and put on display.
- Always try something you’ve tried before and always try something you haven’t. There are nearly limitless ways to configure a three-dimensional object in empty space, so there’s no excuse not to experiment. At the same time, if you only do things that you’ve never done before, you will end up looking like you don’t know what you’re doing, and that’s because you don’t.
- It’s a flower arrangement. Short of spilling your vase and then trampling all over the flowers, you actually can’t fuck it up.
